5/27/18- Summer is Here!

Hurrah! Summer is here!  Okay, it's actually (temperature-wise) been summer in Phoenix for more than a month.  But this was the first weekend that we went swimming in our pool. And it was still too cold for me.  The pool thermometer read 80-degrees, but it didn't feel that warm.  I had actual goose bumps as Jack splashed me.

I always look forward to summer; it's a time to slow down and relax.  Spring is such a busy time of year for our family: birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, festivals and more.  So when summer approaches, I know it's time to take it easy.  Lazy days by the pool, nothing on the schedule but possibilities, and plenty of time to reflect as I sip mint lemonade (spiked 😉).  I love the promise of R 'n' R that summer brings.  Not too mention summer vacation!

This year we're going to Carlsbad, California for summer vacation.  We're going to visit Legoland, the beach, and (hopefully) friends.  We've been gearing up for Legoland on this three-day holiday weekend by watching (binging?) "The Lego Movie," "Lego Batman," and "The Ninjago Movie," and stockpiling Legos (woo hoo, we found a closing Toys R Us in Tucson, so 30% off Legos!).  We'll be going with friends who have a 5 year old, and I think Jack will like having a companion to ride the rides with.  But this trip is the first time Bobby, Jack or I have been to Legoland, so any pro tips would be appreciated.

Of course, the best part of summer vacation is basically getting to forget that you work a 9-5 job!  I've actually been doing okay mentally with my boring work the past couple months, but my physical health hasn't been the best, so I'm ready to not work for a week.  I'm not sure how my body will react to doing an amusement park; however, we're staying at a Lego hotel, so I can go take a nap when needed.  Plus, Advil.  Advil is the answer to my RA inflammation (I'm sure one day I'll need something stronger, but yay for Advil!).

Anyways, there will be time to rest on the weekends after vacation.  We have nothing scheduled on the weekend for months (she typed, intentionally ignoring the calendar)!  I love it!  Randomly deciding to go see a summer blockbuster, or go get Hawaiian ice, or even go play at the indoor playground (haha, like we'd dare go to an outdoor playground in Phoenix during the summer; that'd just be asking for dehydration and sunburn) is like the best thing in the world.  Despite the hundred degree plus weather, summer rocks!

Let me know in the comments your summer plans or what you look forward to this summer, and any Legoland tips are greatly appreciated!  I'll also being doing an updated post for summer activities in Phoenix here soon, but in the meantime, enjoy this flashback to when Jack was enjoying his 2nd Phoenician summer: Fun In AZ Sun. "Deep summer is when laziness finds respectability!"-- Sam Keen.  May you all enjoy your respectable, lazy summer!

5/16/18- Parent Confession 2

In my last post, Parent Confession 1, I confessed that Jack likes saying the word poop and that I don't really discourage him from saying it.  It's kind of funny.  And now I'm about to make my second parent confession... I let my 3 year old have way too much screen time.

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends only 1 hour per day of screen time for children ages 2-5-- Jack watches TV or plays on a tablet for about 2.5 hours a day on weekdays and more on weekends.  I supposed I should feel guilty about him receiving too much screen time, but I don't.  For one, I'm a working parent with a chronic illness, and two, Jack is learning academic and social skills 8 hours a day Monday through Friday at preschool.

Since Jack is at preschool learning reading, writing, math, and other development skills, I'm not worried that screen time is inhibiting his development.  Inhibiting development is one reason the AAP recommends only 1 hour of screen time.  The AAP says screen time should also be quality programming (like Sesame Street), and that other types of programming (like silly cartoons) could delay development. However, from what I can tell, my 2.5 hours/day screen time toddler speaks, reads and writes at the average 3 year old level.

He also seems to be receiving the social skills needs from interacting with the other kids at preschool, as well as his teacher does various social development lessons (like how to recognize your emotions with emotion faces, how to care for people and plants, and so on).  We also only let him watch shows and play games that are designed for preschoolers; most meet the quality programming for preschoolers, with one or two exceptions (train videos on YouTube probably doesn't qualify as quality, but I think Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Daniel Tiger, and Paw Patrol are probably fine/quality). So, for these reasons I don't really worry about the 2.5 hours/day.

Another main reason I refuse to feel guilty about Jack watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse or Paw Patrol for long periods of time is that I'm a working mom with an autoimmune disease.  After work, I barely have the energy to make dinner and watch Mickey with Jack, let alone put on an elaborate puppet show or full blown chemistry lab or whatever it is we're supposed with our children instead of screen time.  Like, I'm doing my best as a RA mommy, and sometimes my best is letting my child watch TV and play trains by himself while I sit on the couch, okay judgy AAP?!

💜Laying on the couch, watching TV 💜

While Jack plays and watches TV, I do engage him and ask questions about the show or his toys, but I already have so much guilt for not being down on the floor playing with him because I'm sick/tired that I don't need the added guilt layer that the TV is on too. I'm working to give myself a little grace and kindness on this whole screen thing because holding onto guilt is only going to make my body feel worse, making me a worse mom.  Being a guilty parent over a happy and healthy parent doesn't really do Jack any favors.

I think all of parents could use a little self kindness when they start to feel guilty over whether or not they're doing a good job.  It's tough to always follow all the parent guidelines out there, like give your child organic air and make sure they get 9.8 m/s² of gravity a day, and trying to follow every single rule will just drive you nuts.  And again, a crazy parent over a happy and healthy parent won't be good for the child.  So I think just do you: do the parenting rules that won't drive you crazy and  won't make you feel guilty (of course always follow the no shark rules, like never abuse a children). For me that means letting my kiddo have more than the recommended screen time per day.

So, cheers to screen time!  And cheers to all the parents doing you!  There is no secret shame in being you: a parent who uses non-organic vegetables, a parent who lets their kid play with plastic toys, a parent who lets their kids watch too much TV.  Cheers to doing your best!  Cheers to being you!

*This was a great op-ed on parents with chronic illness. I'm a work in progress, but this op-ed was a good reminder to not beat myself up when I can't play with my kid and only lay on the couch (thanks Felicia for sharing this op-ed with me).  Why Parents With Chronic Illnesses Are Damn Superheroes