We recently acquired some really cool wooden train toys, including Thomas the Train locomotives, through the Marketplace. Sure, we had to drive a few suburbs away, but the price was fair and the condition was good for the items we acquired. Jack was super happy to get new trains and train tracks.
We were also able to get rid of our old couch and sell some of Jack's baby items (Jack isn't a baby anymore, tear) through FB Marketplace. These experiences were good-- we didn't have to go drop stuff off, and we made enough money to buy Easter baskets for Jack and our Godson. Hurrah!
However, today I made a rookie mistake when making pick up arrangements for an item I was selling on the Marketplace. So, seller and buyer can use FB Messenger to talk to each other and sort out sale details, like price and pick up details. The mistake I made for the pick up is only rookie mistake if your a woman.
I agreed to meet the buyer, a man, at my house alone. Sure that can be a little questionable if your a man home alone, but for a woman home along, it's just down right unsafe. The situation becomes more unsafe if you decide to look at the man's FB profile, and boom, front and center on his profile is him holding a gun at a shooting range. Totally fine to be a man taking a selfie at a shooting range; totally not fine as a woman who is home alone to invite this male stranger who takes gun range selfies into your home.
Yeah, it sucks (sucks isn't even the right word) that there's the mentality "better safe than sorry" and "stranger danger." Unfortunately that mentality does exist, and unfortunately, it exists for a reason (hashtag MeToo). Because I am full aware of the "better safe than sorry" and to be wary of strangers, I might have called Bobby in a panic and asked if he could make it home before the buyer arrives.
So while Bobby's on his way home, I pace the house. The man arrives and messages me that he is here, at my house. I call Bobby to see where he is; he is turning onto our street. I message the man that I'm going to open the garage door. I ask my big, rotty/shepard dog to come into the garage with me. She lays on the floor wagging her tail. Thanks dog. As I open the garage door, Bobby turns into the driveway. Bobby jumps out of the car to greet the man... and his wife.
They're both cordial, and we all make small talk about our kids while I had over the used baby items. The man brought his wife so they could decide together if they wanted the stuff. Honestly, it was like all other FB Marketplace experiences I've had so, which are good experiences. Everybody is polite, money and items are exchanges, and everyone leaves within a couple of minutes of the exchange. Really no big deal.
Some people are probably going to say I overreacted, but I bet most of my female friends, female strangers reading and some men reading this post, are probably saying to themselves thank goodness nothing happened and don't ever put yourself in that situation again Suzie (I know, I know, I know)! That is the reality of being a female in the US; you have to overreact and doubt every FB Marketplace interaction you have.
Shoot, you have to doubt any interaction you have with a stranger. Make every meet up with a stranger in a public place. Let a friend or spouse or parent know where you are when meeting up with said stranger. Pack mace. Pack pepper spray. Pack a Taser. Pack a gun. Learn self defense. Walk in groups when you can. Get Roofie coasters for your drinks. Check over your shoulder. Check around your car. Never been on your phone in a parking lot/garage.Push the light and sound on key chain, but not the unlock button until you are within a foot of door. Because Stay Aware. Don't Be Stupid (which translates to your nativity to trust people is stupid; trusting people/strangers is stupid if you're a woman who is alone).
It sharking sucks. And again suck can't even describe it. A couple of years ago, I learned about cognitive disconnect. The definition I learned was that most people believe that people are good and that world is good, but then something bad happens, and now you can't understand how the world can be good while something bad happened. The two ideas are at odds with each other, so you have a cognitive disconnect.
But I think most women experience cognitive disconnect on daily basis. It's the don't be stupid enough to trust strangers/people if you're a woman, especially if you're a woman alone. Even though most of us think people are good, it's stupid as a woman to trust that people are good. It's like when you setup a Facebook Marketplace baby item pick up, knowing most likely it will all be okay, but then decide last minute you should have your husband with you just to be safe. Better safe than sorry. That is cognitive disconnect at its finest. And we, women and I'm sure some men too (hashtag solidarity, hashtag MeToo and hashtag feminism), experience THAT pretty much EVERY DAY.
I bet when started reading this post, you had no idea it would delude into cognitive disconnect and the reality of the cognitive disconnect women face. Shark, I didn't really know that was where I was going either with this post.
So then, I will sum some things up. Facebook Marketplace is great for selling your stuff. It's great for also getting gently used toys and furniture. I've had some really good luck with it, and I'm in total like with Facebook Marketplace. Just don't be stupid when setting up meetings for the actual in person exchange. Do the exchange at a a public place. Perhaps a Starbucks. If you're the seller, you can get a coffee/sugar drink thing/scone/egg sandwich with your newfound money. If you're the buyer, you can watch the seller use your money to buy a coffee/sugar drink thing/scone/egg sandwich, as you excitedly text your wife that you just got a great deal on more wood train stuff (hashtag because we totally needed more trains)! Happy selling and buying!
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