11/29/18- Parent Confession 4

Alright this one is a parent confession that I feel a little conflicted about-- we use Santa to encourage good choices and behavior from our son.  On the one hand, our son has always been reward centered, so encouraging him to make good choices for a visit from Santa is more effective than a time out for making a bad choice.  But on the other hand, I don't want him to think he's a bad kid when he makes a bad choice. All kids are good even when they don't make the best choices.  I believe that truly.  So I worry that my son will think he's bad when we tell him Santa won't come. Of course, we'd never not have Santa visit our house, but I still worry about Jack receiving a confusing message about Santa. 

I know some parents see Santa as lying to their kids, and I respect that. However, for me personally, I've always been a sucker for magic and hope, which is what I think Santa embodies.  Thus, I have no qualms about telling Jack about Santa-- I want him to believe in magic and hope and miracles and all the good stuff in the world.  Even when he discovers the truth about Santa, I hope (there's that word again) that he'll still believe.  I still believe in Santa and the magic Santa brings this time of year, and so I think it's important to share in the tradition of Santa that I was taught (as a kid) with my own kid. 

One tradition I didn't have with Santa and Christmas when I was a kid is the Elf on the Shelf.  Here's part 2 of the confession: I really dislike the Elf on the Shelf.  Yep, I said it out loud.  I could do without the Elf.  Although I love what Jack has named his Elf, Pizza!, the Elf is there to basically tattle tale on my kid.  I mean again, Pizza's presence is encouraging good behavior and choices, so I guess that the tattle taling isn't what I'm really annoyed with.  The part I'm most annoyed with is the tradition of having to move that sharking Elf every night.  Like I barely remember to shower some days, how am I supposed to remember to move that sharking Elf every night?!  So my solution is that Pizza just loves candy so much that he (she?) can't take themselves away from the candy bowl.  Yeah, that's it.

So there. That's my parent confession(s).  I harbor ill feelings towards the Elf on the Shelf (my husband wanted to do it, and sometimes you make compromises in relationships, haha), and well I definitely believe in sharing the tradition of Santa and the magic Santa creates this time of year, I do worry a little that our kid may get mixed messages about being a good kid vs. making good choices (there's a difference).  I try very hard to never say you're a bad kid, but you're making a bad choice/bad behavior, so we'll see how this all turns out in 20 something years.  Can't wait to see if Jack talks about Santa and how he tried to be a good kid and self worth and all that with his therapist.  Ha!

Alright, tell me in the comments your thoughts on the Elf on the Shelf and Santa and parenting in the comments below, and I hope everyone has a Merry Happy Christmas Holidays!

11/14/18- Life Has Happened

I kept telling myself I'd do a post on here for the past 3 weeks on how to run a successful Kickstarter campaign because yay me, my illustrators and my friends and family, we had a successful Kickstarter campaign for the second Annie Aardvark book "Adding Ants!"  Congrats to me and to everyone who helped out with the campaign by pledging, sharing, and giving me marketing ideas (for the Kickstarter).  I truly couldn't have do it alone.

But alas this post isn't going to be how to run a successful Kickstarter campaign because I'm wiped.  I literally don't have the energy.  I had my routine blood test back in September, which for RA patients is like every other month sometimes, and I got the results from my doctor a week ago, and it shows my thyroid levels hover right on the borderline, my cortisol levels low, and also good old CRP is high again.  Basically these results indicate that my fatigue isn't just from shouting and dancing with joy that the "Adding Ants" Kickstarter was fully funded (although that added to it a little haha).

So instead of a list of what and what not to do with a Kickstarter campaign, I'm just going to tell you what is happening in my life.  I'm obviously got some health issues going on, but I'm confident my doctor and I will get me back somewhat healthy, but there's good things happening too.  Jack knows how to count to 30 all by himself, and he can write his name all by himself!  He's growing everyday, and that couldn't make me more happy! 

We've also have had a lot fun lately, going to various classmates birthday parties.  Jack loves seeing his preschool chums there, and I feel blessed that Bobby and I have made friends with their parents.  Like we have those parents' phone numbers-- like this is a big milestone in the parent timeline (making friends with the other kids parents).  Haha. :) 

Then as I patiently wait for the "Adding Ants" books to arrive at my house so I can ship them to all the Kickstarter backers, we've been holiday crafting and decorating, and Bobby and I will have a date night this week to go see the second "Fantastic Beasts" movie.  And I've got lots of fun planned over STEM Spark for the holidays-- a lot of STEM toy giveaways and some STEM crafts (I hope!). 

Hmm, as I write this all out, I guess it sounds like I'm not resting, but rest assured (haha), I've also been taking lots of naps on the weekends and going to bed before my kid.  I'm so grateful that Bobby has been doing both school pick up and drop off so that I can get my rest.  I'd really like to not sleep though Thanksgiving and Christmas.  We do have exciting plans to take Jack on the Polar Express train again this year, so hopefully the new meds I'm taking to address my energy issues will kick in soon and my body will be bouncing off the walls like my mind does!

Oh, I will note one thing about a do not for a Kickstarter Campaign, and that is DO NOT accidentally launch it before you've meant to.  ;-)

Let me know what's been happening for you, or holiday plans you look forward to, or whatever, in the comments!  Take care!  Happy napping!  And all that good stuff! 

10/29/18- Mason's Howl (For the 8th Annual Halloweensie Contest)

“I’m so hungry!” Mason shouted.  “I’m prepping the cauldron now,” replied daddy.  Snap, crackle, pop went the fire as water began to boil.  “How about frog’s breath?” daddy asked. “Yuck!” growled Mason.  “Slimy snail shells?” said daddy.  Mason shook his head side to side and declared, “no!”    

“Okay.  How about pickled rat?” asked daddy.  Mason shivered at the thought: “gross!”  “Hmm…” daddy thought, “I think I’ve got it…” Mason’s fang curled into a snare and with the word ‘no’ forming on his lips, daddy exclaimed “Candied spider legs!”  Mason’s snare changed into smile and licking his lips, Mason howled, “yuummmm!”

10/22/18- Halloween in Phoenix

I love Halloween, and all the associated activities that come with it!  And it seems like in the  year 2018 there more activities that we do with our children than I did as a child-- pumpkin patch, fall festivals/carnivals, trunk or treats, Halloween parades, Halloween decorating/large lawn displays, and making Halloween specific food, beverages and crafts, and straight up trick or treating. I only remember doing just trick or treating as a kid! And I remember how hot it'd get some Halloweens here in Phoenix, that you wanted to ask your parents if you could just wear your bathing suit to trick or treat in.

And when it's hot outside, sometimes it's hard to get in the mood for all things Halloween.  I love how great the winters are in Phoenix, but seriously, sweating (and possible dehydration) to death in your costume when it's 100 something out on Halloween night is just no bueno. It kind of kills your Halloween spirit: last year we hardly put out any decorations and just barely made it to the pumpkin patch.  It was 95 degrees last year when we visited the pumpkin patch!  At night!  Good thing the pumpkin patch served snow cones. 😅

However, this October for the PHX has been blessed by some rain storms that have lowered the temperatures, and we've been in the 80s as far as the weather goes!  So even though I just got back from Minneapolis, where the leaves turn color and there is frost nipping in the air (a real proper fall for Halloween festivities for sure!), I've definitely been more into Halloween this year.  Bobby and I have put up 3 blow up Halloween characters, flickering lights, gravestones, chains, and six pumpkins so far!  The last part, six pumpkins, is because every time we see a pumpkin somewhere, Jack insists we get one.  And since Bobby and I are both more in the spirit this year, I'm like, well you are right Jack, we do need more pumpkins! 

We've also been crafting the shark out of Halloween.  I may have a small habit with buying the Target dollar bin Halloween crafts, but there are some really cool crafts, like a mini wood pumpkin puzzle that you paint yourself or a string a shoelace through a black cat, that are perfect for young kids. We've also been doing some fun Halloween STEM experiments, like glow in the dark slime, mad pumpkin, and glow stick in a jar (coming soon to STEM Spark).  We're also reading lots of Halloween books, including Five Little Pumpkins.  And Jack is so into all of it!

It is so wonderful and special to be making all these memories together, but what I'm secretly pleased about is that he is back into costumes.  Last year he didn't want to wear a costume at all, and that was weirdly hard for me-- I think because I loved playing dress up so much as a kid, so I couldn't comprehend how he didn't have that exact same love for dress up?  But as I came to acceptance on this matter, he has decided this year that costumes are great!  He's most likely going as a super hero this year: most likely The Incredibles' Dash, Batman or Superman. He was Superman as baby, so *tear* if he dresses up as Superman this year.  I will be going as Margret Hamilton, STEM person extraordinaire, and if you also are thinking about a STEM costume this year, you can check out my post on STEM inspired costumes here.

In summary, I love Halloween and am so thankful that the weather in Phoenix is adding to the enjoyment of the holiday. Also pretty excited that my little one is really into it and wanting to dress up!  Tell me what is one of your favorite things about Halloween in the comments below, and Happy Halloween everybody!  May you have Spook-tactular one!
 

10/2/18- My Baby is Four (where the shark did time go?!)

Almost a month ago Jack turned four!  I have no idea where the time went, and I don't just mean these past four year, I mean this past month!  I was going to finally write up Jack's birth story (because it was kind of like one you'd see in a Hollywood movie), but time has just slipped away from me and now you just get this post-- the cliche where does time go; life is so busy?!

My current time management issues are my fault though because I've bitten off a lot; however, I think I can chew it all.  How did I get so busy?  Well for one, I finished the second Annie Aardvark book!  Yay!  Then I decided on top of family and my engineering day job that I'd also start a new blog, called STEM Spark.  Then I also decided it would be a good idea to launch the second Annie Aardvark book through a Kickstarter campaign right after launching the new blog!   

I took on all these things not because I'm crazy, but because I am just super excited and optimist about these projects.  I have been forced this month to be more efficient in the work I do, aka not spending so much time watching cute animal videos on the Internet! I also have the support of Bobby, which helps all lot in "balancing" it all.  Plus, now at age four, Jack is able to entertain/play by himself for short durations while I work (like 20 minutes is all you need to write up a Kickstarter thank you).  Watching him grow from a baby to toddler to pre-K child has been amazing!

I'm so blessed to see him grow-- he's spatial reasoning skills are something to be envied; his vocabulary and letter/number reading is expanding more and more; and he's able to dress himself, which as an adult you think isn't that hard, but watching Jack learning to put a shirt on, while you realize just how much practice and learning a simple skill like dressing yourself takes!  Of course in his quest for independence (again, yay for dressing yourself), he's pushing hard on the boundaries we have set for him, and the tantrum seem even worse/longer at age four than at age three.  But I know it's all apart of the growing process, and I hold onto hope that soon-ish we'll find the happy medium of Jack's independence and parents' boundaries/rules (she said naively).

I just have to also add that Bobby and I threw a pretty shark fin b-day party for Jack (if I do say so myself) in the middle of all these new projects... which is probably why we all had colds last week (kicking shark fin takes it out of you!). That and the"weather change" in Phoenix. We're no longer in the 100's!, although there's always a chance we'll have another 100 degree day in October, haha.  Anyway, we're all better now, so upwards and onwards!

No sleep till Brooklynn...well in this case, no sleep till the Kickstarter is done and the book is released!  I hope everyone has had a great start to their fall! Oh, and one day I'll write Jack's birth story cause it's pretty amazing (of course I'm biased, but for those who do know the story, it is not much exaggeration to say it's something out of a movie).  Happy fall!

9/1/18- Parent Confession 3

McDonald's.  Say what you will about the double arches, but for me McDonald's has been a parental lifesaver. I take Jack here about once a week , usually after work. And usually after feeling fatigued from the rheumatoid arthritis.

When you feel so fatigued, cooking and playing with your child can feel next to impossible. What's a RA, working parent to do? For me  the solution comes in the form of McNuggets, Apple slices and yogurt or fries (and now organic juice). The McDonald's of my yester years has worked to improve the healthy options, and sometimes their Apple slices are the only fruit Jack will eat (on his difficult toddler days).

Suplerging!

Jack also loves the playground at our local McD, and I love that he is running around and getting out all of his toddler energy. All while I can sit and watch from a bench. I can get the much needed rest I need, and Jack can get the exercise and play he needs.

Another thing that I thank McDonald's for is you can find one on any road trip. They're usually open early and late, with a restroom and much needed caffinated beverage. It's a good place to take a break and stretch your joints on a long road trip.

So in this day of age of homemade, organic baby food (which we have totally made our own organic baby food, so I'm understand that choose as a parent, I promise), I don't feel ashamed to admit I take the kid to McDonald's once a week. It's a good option for us and for our needs. So that's my 3rd parent confession, I am not ashamed to take my kid to McDonald's.

Plus the toys in Happy Meals are kind of fun (Sorry Jack I took your mini Hungry Hippo game)!  So if you also visit the double arches with your kids, your secret (or maybe not secret) is safe with me because ba da ba ba ba, I'm loving It! Leave a comment on what places or restaurants have helped you out!

8/16/18- Breastfeeding

A week ago I had the privileged to write about what it's like to be a parent with Rheumatoid Arthritis  (RA) on the site Fiery Bones, and while I covered a lot in that article, there was one subject I specifically wanted to talk about while being an RA mom: breastfeeding.  First I want to caveat this post with this-- when it comes to breastfeeding in the US, it feels damned if you do (cover up in public! you can't do that here!) and damned if you don't (I don't care your situation, you should be exclusively breastfeeding baby from the nipple for the next 20 years!).  So now with that caveat, I'll dive into my breastfeeding story.

From the start I was a low producer, meaning that on a good day, I made 5 ounces of breast milk for baby Jack.  Jack consumed at least twice that in the earlier days, and I think 5 times that by the time I hung up my breastfeeding hat.  So I supplemented with formula, and no way do I feel guilty about my baby being feed formula because he was being feed. Period.  That is what is important.  But for the first 3 month (aka maternity leave), I did feed him what breast milk I had mostly by boob.

And I remember how stiff and locked up my hand and elbow joints would get.  Since I didn't produce much milk, feeding sessions would be close to an hour.  And it was painful.  So I'd switch sides every 10-15 minutes or sit him down and pick him back up.  I had suspicions within a month or two that my RA was flaring again.  It was confirmed when I had a check up with my primary care doctor four months after Jack was born.

My primary care doctor recommend a couple of different things, and I did a follow up with my rheumatologist.  The rheumatologist recommended that I go back on Plaquenil for the RA. I had stopped taking the medicine during pregnancy with guidance from my rheumatologist. She didn't want to risk any side effects during pregnancy, as well as all my RA numbers were looking good. I was most likely in remission during pregnancy, which does not always happen to pregnant RA patients.  But now that I was having a flare, it was time to go back on Plaquenil.

Again, with guidance from my rheumatologist and Jack's pediatrician, I started the medication.  It was middle of the road safe for breastfeeding mothers.  At the same time, I was back at work, so I (and Bobby) had switched full time to bottles with Jack (he had them off/on previous).  I remember one week into being back at work (and Jack receiving bottles full time at daycare) that I might try breastfeeding Jack for nostalgia purposes.  Jack was not having it, and I ended up giving him a bottle.

But I was pumping at work, which is it's own beast. Again, the breast milk I pumped wasn't much, but I was still proud of the fact that I was providing a little breast milk among the formula that Jack was receiving.  I'd also wake up in the middle of the night, even though Jack now mostly slept through the night, to pump. Those 3 ounces counted towards the total, no way would I miss that!  However, the lack of sleep was definitely not helping the RA nor was it making me a happy mom.  I was not the best version of myself on the little sleep I was getting (it was hard to fall back asleep after pumping a half hour at 3 am, and since I couldn't fall back asleep, I'd stay up reading or checking emails/social media).

I don't even remember much between months 3 and 9 of Jack's life, since I was a walking, breast milk pumping zombie whose joints ached so much.  Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed my time with Jack (and figuring out parenthood with Bobby), but I can't really remember what I did at work or conversations I'd have with Bobby.  I was in desperate need of Ibfropen and rest/sleep, but I wasn't ready to admit to myself that it was time to retire from breastfeeding.  According to society, I'd be a horrible mother and fail Jack if I didn't make it a whole year breastfeeding.

Then Jack got his first stomach virus at nine months, which is really scary when they're ity bity babies, but of course it all turned out fine (virus went away and Jack started eating again).  But since Jack didn't seem to be keeping any milk or pureed foods down, Bobby and I were in full on parent worry, red alert mood.  So much so, that while Jack was sick, I forgot to pump.  Once Jack was doing a little better, I put the pump supplies on and started the device up.  Nothing came out.  I waited a full 10 minutes before quitting.   I was like, no big deal I'll try again later, and I did try again yith the same results; nothing came out. So that was that.  At nine months, I was done providing breast milk to my baby.

Yet, it was a blessing in disguise.  I started sleeping 8 hours straight through the night (no waking up at 3 am) , and I started taking NSAIDs again (bless you Ibfropen).  I also felt relief that Jack wasn't getting diluted Plaqunil anymore (although the doctors gave their blessing for me to use that medication).  Yes, at first I was very conflicted-- I'm supposed to provide nutrients for a whole year to my baby. However, because of the extra rest/sleep and more free time (now that I wasn't pumping), I felt so much better and happier.  I hadn't realized how awful I had felt. But now I had a little more spring in my steps, and I was able to fully enjoy family time.  I was enjoying life more.

In summary, I feel like I got this unique experience of both sides-- the breastfeeding mom and the formula feeding parent.  I can empathize with both sides, and that I personally don't see breastfeeding as only one sided.  Before judging anyone on whether they choose to breastfeed or not, remember that they could be a RA mom who doesn't produce much and struggles to hold baby for a long time due to joint stiffness.  So let's support the parents who don't breastfeed, as well as the moms who nipple feed until 5+ years, and everything in between. Because damn it, parenting is hard enough without judgement, so let's support each in our breastfeeding decisions. Fed is fed! To breastfeeding and to formula feeding!